emotional freedom
To be able to function in a world full of negativity energy we must learn to create 'Emotional Boundaries' in order to save ourselves from mental and physical burnout. So how do we do this when we are parents, have high powered jobs, many demands on us to financially provide, time limitations etc, the list is endless!
The most powerful form of 'stopping' others energies from invading your space, manipulating you and dis-empowering you. As discussed earlier on the page 'What is an Empath', the power of a tiny thought can make things react very powerfully. Which way, negative or positive, depends on you.
The most powerful form of 'stopping' others energies from invading your space, manipulating you and dis-empowering you. As discussed earlier on the page 'What is an Empath', the power of a tiny thought can make things react very powerfully. Which way, negative or positive, depends on you.
The link below provides physiological detail on how our minds are so powerful
Although the link above is a scientific approach it is very in depth and valuable to know how your thoughts and how others affect you and in this sense is 'Empowering' due to now having the knowledge of what is going on 'beyond' the skin. Empaths have been labelled as having mental illnesses due to their extreme sensory sensitivities, however the link above does actually confirm that we ALL are communicating through one stream of energetic energy cord and this, in effect, will naturally justify why you were fine waking up but as soon as you walked out amongst others you suddenly felt a change in your energy.Others 'thoughts' affect everything we do, feel, and become but more so in an Empath due to our natural hypersensitive state of being.
What are Boundaries?
A boundary is a limit that promotes integrity. Healthy boundaries come from your conscious awareness of the distinction between you and the people with whom you share your life. Boundaries protect you and make you feel safe. There are two types of boundaries: Physical Boundaries and Emotional Boundaries. Physical Boundaries are based on the invisible three-foot comfort zone that surrounds you. This is your physical boundary of safety that you (and others) need to feel safe. Emotional Boundaries separate you from others emotionally and psychologically. Your ego-mind creates a sense of personal space and separation from others in order to help you feel physically safe and prevents emotional enmeshment with others. When someone violates your physical or emotional boundaries without your permission, you feel uncomfortable perhaps even threatened. Spiritual relationships requires you to honour the need for physical and emotional boundaries in others and themselves.
When someone trespasses your boundaries by thoughtless or intrusive actions these actions are called... boundary violations.
There are TWO types of boundary violations being violations of intrusion and violations of emotional distance -
1. Violations of Intrusion happen when a person is verbally, emotionally, sexually or physically abused or enmeshed.
2. Violations of Emotional Distance occur when emotional intimacy is less than what is appropriate for the relationship. Emotional distance is harmful, especially with children. A child has the right to expect closeness and emotional intimacy from her caretakers, and when it is excessively removed or cut off, it hurts and it becomes emotionally harmful. For example, when you were a child, if your parents only talked to you to give you orders or to reprimand you, this would be a violation of emotional distance. Children and adults need hugs, affection and emotional intimacy from their parents in order to feel safe and secure.
Violations of Emotional Distance are difficult to validate because these wounds were caused by 'what wasn't done to you'.
When you were a child, you did not have the power or wisdom to stop others from transgressing your boundaries. Adults could do as they wished with you because you were powerless to stop them. Now that you are an adult, you are able to use your adult powers to set mature, functional boundaries so that you can feel safe, sane and secure in the world.
Often when a child's boundaries are violated it is allowed to continue because the child has not been taught that he/she has the right to say "NO" when his/her boundaries have been breached. If you were not given permission as a child to say NO to protect your boundaries then you'll need to practice corrective Self-parenting boundary exercises.
Emotional boundaries help you to stay safe by stopping you from becoming enmeshed in the fear based ideas and behaviors of others. Emotional boundaries tie directly to your belief systems. It is important that you discern what beliefs belong to you from those that originate from others. Your mind will treat all of your beliefs indiscriminately and act on them accordingly. Since your mind does not care whether a belief is yours or another's (such as a parent) unless you program it otherwise, it will create a reality that you may or may not wish to participate in. Because of this, you can become emotionally enmeshed in the beliefs of others to the point that it will create dysfunctional programming in your life. A Relationship Mastered person recognizes the impor-tance of not imposing their beliefs upon others because they realize that it is an emotional boundary violation. This does not mean that you cannot express your beliefs; it just means that you should not overly insist, impose, or try to manipulate another into accepting your point of view and belief systems.
written by Author - Hu Dalconzo
IDENTIFYING BOUNDARIES
To have good boundaries, you have to identify them and think about what they are for instance -
PHYSICAL DISTANCE - Physical distance refers to the space that you have around yourself and others; for example, being too close or too far away.
EMOTIONS - Having difficulty with emotional boundaries means not being able to distinguish between your feelings and 'others' feelings, or merging with someone's emotional energy.
TIME - Problems with boundaries over time means not distinguishing between present, past and future. It is feeling yesterday's traumas as occurring in the here and now, or being absorbed in the dread or fear that something terrible is going to occur.
SPACE - Issues with space means not knowing that the place you are in is not somewhere else; for example, your home feels like the place where you were abused.
THOUGHTS - Having what others think dramatically affect you, is an example of not having healthy boundaries between you and them.
CREATING COGNITIVE BOUNDARIES -
CREATING PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES -
What are Boundaries?
A boundary is a limit that promotes integrity. Healthy boundaries come from your conscious awareness of the distinction between you and the people with whom you share your life. Boundaries protect you and make you feel safe. There are two types of boundaries: Physical Boundaries and Emotional Boundaries. Physical Boundaries are based on the invisible three-foot comfort zone that surrounds you. This is your physical boundary of safety that you (and others) need to feel safe. Emotional Boundaries separate you from others emotionally and psychologically. Your ego-mind creates a sense of personal space and separation from others in order to help you feel physically safe and prevents emotional enmeshment with others. When someone violates your physical or emotional boundaries without your permission, you feel uncomfortable perhaps even threatened. Spiritual relationships requires you to honour the need for physical and emotional boundaries in others and themselves.
When someone trespasses your boundaries by thoughtless or intrusive actions these actions are called... boundary violations.
There are TWO types of boundary violations being violations of intrusion and violations of emotional distance -
1. Violations of Intrusion happen when a person is verbally, emotionally, sexually or physically abused or enmeshed.
2. Violations of Emotional Distance occur when emotional intimacy is less than what is appropriate for the relationship. Emotional distance is harmful, especially with children. A child has the right to expect closeness and emotional intimacy from her caretakers, and when it is excessively removed or cut off, it hurts and it becomes emotionally harmful. For example, when you were a child, if your parents only talked to you to give you orders or to reprimand you, this would be a violation of emotional distance. Children and adults need hugs, affection and emotional intimacy from their parents in order to feel safe and secure.
Violations of Emotional Distance are difficult to validate because these wounds were caused by 'what wasn't done to you'.
When you were a child, you did not have the power or wisdom to stop others from transgressing your boundaries. Adults could do as they wished with you because you were powerless to stop them. Now that you are an adult, you are able to use your adult powers to set mature, functional boundaries so that you can feel safe, sane and secure in the world.
Often when a child's boundaries are violated it is allowed to continue because the child has not been taught that he/she has the right to say "NO" when his/her boundaries have been breached. If you were not given permission as a child to say NO to protect your boundaries then you'll need to practice corrective Self-parenting boundary exercises.
Emotional boundaries help you to stay safe by stopping you from becoming enmeshed in the fear based ideas and behaviors of others. Emotional boundaries tie directly to your belief systems. It is important that you discern what beliefs belong to you from those that originate from others. Your mind will treat all of your beliefs indiscriminately and act on them accordingly. Since your mind does not care whether a belief is yours or another's (such as a parent) unless you program it otherwise, it will create a reality that you may or may not wish to participate in. Because of this, you can become emotionally enmeshed in the beliefs of others to the point that it will create dysfunctional programming in your life. A Relationship Mastered person recognizes the impor-tance of not imposing their beliefs upon others because they realize that it is an emotional boundary violation. This does not mean that you cannot express your beliefs; it just means that you should not overly insist, impose, or try to manipulate another into accepting your point of view and belief systems.
written by Author - Hu Dalconzo
IDENTIFYING BOUNDARIES
To have good boundaries, you have to identify them and think about what they are for instance -
PHYSICAL DISTANCE - Physical distance refers to the space that you have around yourself and others; for example, being too close or too far away.
EMOTIONS - Having difficulty with emotional boundaries means not being able to distinguish between your feelings and 'others' feelings, or merging with someone's emotional energy.
TIME - Problems with boundaries over time means not distinguishing between present, past and future. It is feeling yesterday's traumas as occurring in the here and now, or being absorbed in the dread or fear that something terrible is going to occur.
SPACE - Issues with space means not knowing that the place you are in is not somewhere else; for example, your home feels like the place where you were abused.
THOUGHTS - Having what others think dramatically affect you, is an example of not having healthy boundaries between you and them.
CREATING COGNITIVE BOUNDARIES -
- Remember the best time to gain control of panic, anger or fear is early, before it gets really going!
- Consciously think about how you feel and what you need to say.
- Visualize a barrier around negative emotions.
- See a barrier or wall between you and what you want to keep out.
- Visualize a protective bubble around you.
- Image or even verbalize that you now have control over your body, boundaries and the abuser.
- Assert boundaries out loud to your abuser (without them there).
- Visualize yourself as strong and empowered.
- Trust your gut feeling and inner voice.
- Practice saying no assertively, but not aggressively.
- Tell people what your limits are.
- Visualize that you are surrounded in healing white light.
- Tell yourself that you are worthwhile.
- Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself and approve of who you are.
- Banish guilt.
CREATING PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES -
- Hold your belly in or hold a set of your muscles taut.
- Feel a wall or bubble around yourself that keeps out what you want.
- Feel your energy or sense of strength.
- Feel yourself being tall or getting taller.
- Cross your arms or legs.
- Move to a location where you feel stronger or more protected.
- Experiment with changing your posture to a position where you feel grounded and empowered.
- Wear clothes or accessories that make you feel better, more protected or stronger.
- Be aware of colours that give you strength or a sense of confidence.
- Using your body language and no words, practice saying ' NO, BACK OFF'.
- Use that body sense to say no to what caused the internal memories of old pain.
- Feel a physical and time distance between yourself and the old hurts.
- See the distance between you and others.
- Think about and listen to the distance that feels comfortable between you and others
- From a physical sense practice not merging with 'others’ emotions and issues.
heart intelligence
the true emotional centre
It is now known that the Heart is the core existence for the manifestation and response emotionally more so than the brain. To comprehend this, have a look at the following utubes -